“But, what makes it punk?” Founder JT Habersaat gnashes his teeth every time the question is posed to him. Maybe because it’s fast-paced and accepting, aggressive and ridiculous, heartfelt expression with dick jokes, or because the tour seems to pick up strays—an 80s-era metal head here, a Volcom-sponsored front-man there, a comedy impresario and unlikely landlord riding shotgun—or, most likely, because the members of the Altercation Punk Comedy Tour don’t really give a damn what you think, they just want to tackle a microphone and have some fun.
On “Hostile Corporate Takeover,” Joe Staats will make you picture tears on his dong (“mantis-like”, we hear) and explain why we’re about two generations from feral, while Mack Lindsay will treat you to a verbal mosh pit: fifteen minutes of confounding, feminist, Christian, mother-loving, donkey-braying complete with life lessons (1. a robber-baron moustache and a public nap do not a “movement” make and 2. you must immediately stop buying any product that’s very existence is predicated upon you thinking you’re ugly). In the meantime, M.O.D. and S.O.D. front-man Billy Milano is waiting in the wings to explain how he was ruined by Fozzie Bear, because this is not comedy, it’s life (and anal electronics). The Riverboat Gamblers’ Mike Wiebe is blowing kisses to The Boss, and just when it feels like the lights are gonna come on in the all-black club, exposing condensation on the walls and mohawks gone limp and sweaty, JT Habersaat himself will take the mic to bring down the house.
Habersaat’s worked with Doug Stanhope and Henry Rollins, but been bested in a cred war by Brian Posehn. He’s made an emo kid cry (more) and he’ll be the first to tell you, if your name isn’t “WarDuke” and you don’t sleep in a fresh grave, you can’t call your band “Cute is What We Aim For.” An accidental flasher who knew he was an adult when he started really responding to Bob Seger lyrics, Habersaat’s also the guy who takes the headcount in the van before setting off into the night, ready to tell one more town how you really cast a remake of “Clash of the Titans.” May the tour never stop!